The Empty Room

The other day I was sitting in my living room with my two friends, Judy and Sue, who make up my writing trio.  We take turns meeting at each other's house for dinner once a month and this month it was my turn.  I made salad with pears, walnuts, blue cheese and mustard vinaigrette. Then I served spaghetti. Then for dessert, we had cherry cobbler with vanilla ice cream.

Comfort food eaten in front of the fireplace on a cold, dark, autumn night when we all needed a little comfort.

I told them a little bit about how over-whelmed I was feeling. How I had way too many obligations to do things I simply didn't want to do. How I had no time to work on my writing, which was the whole point of rearranging my life and maintaining a writing studio.

My friend Judy suggested this:

Think of my life as a room.  Imagine taking everything out until it is completely empty. Then, after much consideration, start letting things back in - but only things I truly love and feel passionate about - nothing can come in if "obligation" is the only thing it has going for it.

Later, after they left, I did quite a bit of thinking about this.  What exactly would I let back into my "room?" Family, of course, writing and managing writing programs at my studio, teaching at the local college and occasional volunteer work.

What didn't make the cut?  Committee or board work of any kind. Intense sewing to deadlines. Freelance work for somebody else. Projects or events that require me to do the planning.

Tom and I have about cornered the market on being helpful over the years - we want to have a period of time when no one counts on us for anything (except our family).  No one should plan on us attending any function or managing any problem. I don't want commitments or deadlines.

We just want to work on our own art and plan our lives around that.  Once I got that figured out in my head - it truly felt like there was a light at the end of the tunnel and I should be able to make it to next summer, when the timeline for our commitments comes to an end.

Things are looking up!