Plan B

I heard from the graduate school I applied to, and I was not accepted. I was kind of disappointed - but surprisingly - not that much. At this point in my life, I've had enough rejection that I've learned to roll with it.

Also, I'm a big believer that things happen, or don't happen, for a reason. I was looking at putting my writing life on hold for two years while I satisfied the requirements for the degree, and I believe this is a sign that's not what I should do.

As a dear friend wrote to me when I told her about the rejection - "It must not have been the right path, find a different trail and follow it!"

So, that's my Plan B. I've cleared my schedule of work and obligations to go back to school - now I'm going to use that time to "school" myself and just pounce on it! As spring has finally arrived and I begin to see flowers blooming, I'm getting the itch to buckle down and seriously write.

Last year around this time I wrote about buying my mother flowers at road-side stands to cheer her up in what would be the last month of her life. This year I'll buy them for myself and fill vases to sit on my desk while I work on this next phase of my life.

And, of course, I'll think of my mother, but maybe not in such a sad way. Maybe just in love and gratitude for all she gave me during our long time together. As we near the anniversary of her death, I know that's what she would want for me.

Anticipation

I am waiting to hear if I have been accepted into the MFA creative writing program of my choice and I think I am down to the last few days. It's nerve racking.

I found a Web site that lists when the notices for every program in the country are sent out and the one I applied to sent notices by March 8 last year. So, it could be any day now.

This feels like it has been a long journey for me. I decided to pursue this graduate degree after my mother died last spring as a way of acknowledging a long-time dream and to honor her lifetime committment to art. I spent the summer and fall working on my writing sample, taking the GRE test, and assembling all the various pieces and parts required - then submitted it in December.

Now, here I sit, 10 months since I first came up with the notion and within a few days of finding out if I was successful. I have thought about a "Plan B" and I do have some ideas about what I could do, but don't even want to jinx myself by planning too much.

Here's to hoping!