Summer Delayed




Nolan in the Children's Garden at Michigan State University

We started out the summer with a beautiful spring weekend on Michigan State University campus for Sloan's graduation. We took lots of pictures of  Nolan that weekend, including this one on a butterfly bench - which he only landed on for about 30 seconds.

The rest of the month and the first couple of weeks of June flew past with too much to do and time ticking.  In the middle of June I had my second knee replacement surgery and have been holed up in the house for nearly two weeks now, watching summer outside my living room window.

I'm ready to stop sitting here in this chair, although my knee isn't always cooperating and my head still has a wooley feeling from medication.  Each day gets fractionally better and I think by the end of July I should be in good shape and finally able to enjoy summer.

I've been able to sew a little, read a little, write a little and see Nolan a few times a week when he comes over and seems fascinated by my latest "owey."

Housebound

On Monday I had my second total knee replacement (left) - my right one was done in January and I told the doctor that if he could do the same thing with my left knee that he did with my right, I would be a happy customer.

It's only been four days, but I think things are looking pretty good.  The doctor called me a "star" patient and the nurses and PT people at the hospital were amazed at how easily I breezed through everything. It definitely helped going through this once and knowing what was coming.

Now I get to spend the next few weeks vegging out at home doing some light exercises and healing before I have to start the hard job of physical therapy.

It's just so unusual for me to sit here and not feel like I have to jump up and do laundry, cook something, tidy something, etc. etc. But I'm on a break from all that for a while.

Last time I couldn't get my brain clear enough to do much writing or reading - but I did do some sewing and wrote in my journal. I've got a quilting project prepared that I may start tomorrow and I just downloaded a new book onto my Nook. I haven't gotten bored yet.

Food is kind of an issue because I'm here alone all day and have to fend for myself for breakfast and lunch and my husband is doing some simple cooking when he gets home.  Luckily, my appetite hasn't returned yet. I've included this picture of peach pie because this is something I hope to snag while I'm here sitting around. It's certainly one of my favorite kinds of pie and a local grocery store makes good pie.

Father's Day

The kids: Max, Sloan, Caleb during Sloan's college graduation weekend.

Each Father's Day I like to give a little tribute to my husband, Tom.
This year marks 32 years spent as a father  and  2-1/2 years as a grandfather.

We're at an odd time in our lives now when all the kids are adults and we're standing on the sidelines watching them making their life decisions.

Some of those decisions are NOT the ones we would make. And sometimes I find myself telling Tom, "it's not our business."

But he finds it nearly impossible to really let them go. I think he will always feel the need to throw a protective umbrella over them. Perhaps that stems from the fact that his own father died young when Tom was only a teenager.

Tom has hung in there a lot longer. He has shepherded his children to adulthood and now, like it or not, we stand in the dust as they head off into pastures of their own making.

This afternoon we babysat for our little pre-school grandson. Before he could come over, Tom had to buy some special toys, a DVD and some candy. I try to warn Tom that we can't spoil him and we have to back off a little - but the truth is that neither one of us really feels that way. It's a different role for him - the grandparent instead of the parent - but he enjoys it and, characteristically, he's doing a good job with it.

Happy Father's Day, Tom. And many more!

Can not not write

Earlier this week I just pretty much gave it up.

For years I've been telling myself that I'm a writer, but to be one you actually have to WRITE and I just haven't been doing that. I journal, I write about writing, I read about writing, I organize programs to help other people write - but sitting down and creating new, original work is something I just haven't been able to make myself do.

It's not for lack of ideas. I have at least five projects going right now, two of which I'm determined to finish before the end of the year - and they are both book length.

But each time I sit down to write, I think about all the other commitments I've made that need my time and attention and all have deadlines that haunt me like ghouls!

I know better. I know a writer needs to set a time and keep that sacred like you would a doctor's appointment. But I have trouble settling my mind when other obligations are weighing on me. And I'm in big-time procrastination mode!

Finally, on Tuesday I just decided to give it all up.  Who would notice? I'm just a middle-aged (teetering on the edge of old) woman scribbling away at things that nobody is likely to read or care about. I'm tired of being persistent - I've had 40 years of persistence!

Then, yesterday I got a notion about an essay I'm working on for a larger collection. This morning I think I'm going to sit on the deck looking out over my quiet back yard, and work it all out.

I suppose in the end it doesn't matter if what I write never sees the light of day. I do it for me. I do it to quiet a too busy mind. I do it for when I'm gone - to cry out into the darkness that I was here and this is the way I thought. 

And all of that is enough. For now.