The Coccoon

It's been nearly five weeks since my knee replacement surgery and I've had a lot of time to just sit and think about things.

One of the things that I'm beginning to realize is, that I have been living in a cocoon of pain for several years now. With bad knees, which progressively got worse week after week, I found myself measuring every activity, every plan, every event in terms of how much pain it was going to cost me.

And the truth is, lately the answer has been - too much. I simply got to the point where there were things I couldn't do anymore - and those things included stuff I loved doing - shopping, going to museums, hiking in the National Parks, travel.

But lately, with my right knee getting better and better, I find that I'm starting to think like the old Denise. We are planning trips we want to take this summer and fall and no longer is my first thought about how I'm going to physically manage things. I can actually picture myself enjoying activities and not worrying about walking any distance.

I still have a ways to go before my right knee is up to snuff, then I have my left knee to take care of in June (although that one isn't in nearly the bad shape the right one is) - but I'm beginning to see some cracks in that cocoon and perhaps by this autumn - I can break free!